2003-04-24 - 11:46 a.m. I lost steam and talked about god; I apologize When I think of God, and when I think of most people think of God, they are very consistent. The human God relationship is very easy. People pray; God listens and maybe helps in mysterious ways. My God is genie. Whenever I am one the train, or daydreaming, or just thinking, sometimes my mind wanders to thoughts of being better. Better How? Better soccer player. Better lover. Better Fighter. Better Economist. Better Student. Better Writer. Yeah. I have dreamed of being the best. Suddenly scoring the game-winning goal in the last minute of a game. Or being able to take a few punches to the chops and standing up unfazed. But the truth is the Khilbaza scores the goals, and I fall down bleeding. What does this mean? What it means is that I desire to be better than I am. I desire to be the best. This is a natural feeling. The bear in the wild wants to have the most fertile mate. So he kicks other bears asses and does his favorite she-bear. In our world, we climb the corporate ladder and buy the BMW, and then grab the prettiest gold digger we can find. Now this is turning into an entry about love and humans, so I will get back on topic. Though we want to be better, there is usually little we can do to be better. I have always wanted to play the piano, and fanaticized about sitting down in front of it and suddenly being able to play. But have I ever taken a piano lesson. No. And Can I play the piano. No. Could I if I put in the hard work. Maybe, but I wouldn�t be the best; so it might not be fulfilling. So fuck it Nevertheless, God comes into the picture. Why. Cause he is an entity that has the power to change things. Humans have given up the idea of wishing wells, and Greek Gods, but we hang on to the idea of lucky items and a merciful giving God. So what people believe is that there is an entity out there that listens to our prayers, and answers them. I often times try to strike a �if only� deal with a certain entry. If only I could fly, all my problems would be solved. But I know that flying is too much to ask. So I bargain. I would like it if I only had the power to move things with my mind. All right, then shoot lasers out of my eyes. Fine, breathe underwater. All right still too much? Fine then I just want to be able to be the best dancer in the world. That�s not superhuman; no one will notice. Okay, then just a good pitcher. All right. I will settle for making the league minimum at Football. I see. It�s not in my field. Then if you just make me a better economist. Have me discover some theory, then I will be happy. Okay then, ten bucks. I will be fine if you give me ten bucks. Ah God, the genie. Why don�t you ever take my offer? I don�t ask for much. Take the deal!!!! God isn�t a genie. The genie is a guy who gives you three wishes. Why? Because you blow the first one; try to better on the second one; and then finally fail seeing that you were better before and then the third wish to put everything back to normal. A genie teaches you something about yourself. God doesn�t. If I were ever a genie I would be the genie of two wishes. God is the wishing well. Throw your money. Make a wish. Expect nothing. There will be no response. But the human emotion of hope is what creates the image of God. We have infinite hope, because it doesn�t take effort to hope. No one gets to tired cause they were hoping too much. We watch movies to hope. We read books to hope. We pray to hope. We hope that things get better and that we get what we want. Because of the sense of time we have as humans I think we are punishes by hope. Things have to be better tomorrow than they were yesterday. Why? Because if they weren�t then you just have to get up the next day KNOWING that the best is behind you. You have to hope the something better will happen. Time has created God. Why; because people want to believe in heaven. The thing with books and movies and stories and jokes is that the best is saved for last. If there is no heaven, then the best is not last. God represents �last� for humans. Last is the best. The concept of last was created by time. A dog doesn�t know last. He knows now. He is happy when you are here now, and unhappy when you are not here. He doesn�t worry about what the last thing that is going to happen to him is. The last thing that happens to some people is being surrounded by strangers in a hospital, no one you ever knew is near you. We glamorize death. We invent God. We pray for our dreams. Our Dreams are our hopes to be better than we are. "We dream of being infinite, we dream of resolution, we dream to give our hearts away," D.C. | |||||||||||
