Comments:

infamy - 2006-03-03 16:46:28
Face cord or bush cord?
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Meany - 2006-03-03 16:47:33
So will you come and live with me and tell me whenever my husband is lying to me?
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Zon - 2006-03-03 16:50:38
Does this comments section make my butt look big? [Yes. Yes, I see the look now. You're right. Deer in headlights.]
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Procrasto - 2006-03-03 17:20:20
The real question is "Do YOU want to DO it!" Not "DO you want to do IT", which can also be confused with "Do you WANT TO do it". See?
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Kelly - 2006-03-03 17:37:35
Your second scenario with you blurting out Car Accident is exactly what happens when I lie. And the truth was Video Games with your friends? well at least it wasnt anything too unforgivably dorkish like dungeons and dragons, huh? oh, uh, I just choked a little.
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alice - 2006-03-03 19:59:09
I always blame the transit system or crazy people, sometimes both. I honestly give the best bold faced lies when Im drunk. I will tell you my name is Pickles McGraw and make up a detailed plausible story to go with it by the end your all "Thats so amazing Pickles" Go sign up for an improv course and you will be able to lie with the greatest of ease. Not that I lie much usually just when Im late for work or Im drunk and feel like amusing myself.
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nicim - 2006-03-03 20:50:56
the secret to a good lie is to look the person straight in the eyes, lift your eyebrows slightly, animate your general expression, tilt your body forward just a tad, and remember to use natural hand gestures. got me through grade school, middle school, high school, and three marriages. HA! XXOO N
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dom - 2006-03-03 21:10:17
you never fail to crack me up, gump.
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willowfox - 2006-03-03 22:18:31
That was the funniest entry you've written in a while, and it's not like you write boring entries.
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willowfox - 2006-03-03 22:18:50
That was the funniest entry you've written in a while, and it's not like you write boring entries, Gumptitude.
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Matty - 2006-03-03 23:14:04
When faced with this sort of hellish question, at least the does my butt look big/do you think she's pretty type; I have found in the past that there is mileage in acting dazed and saying "What do you think, dear?" Then you might get in trouble for not listening, but more likely you get dismissed for being a dumbass. Lately I'm more likely to confront the fucked-up question with a fucked-up answer: Does my butt look big? Yeah! Holy shit that's awesome, come here, you're so hot! Do you think she's pretty? Yeah, but she looks WAY better naked.
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Mary - 2006-03-04 02:18:00
Ok, so if I asked Justin what he did Saturday night and he quickly answered, "Oh I watched the hockey on the Olympics," should I believe him??
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Al - 2006-03-04 09:36:29
The best answer I have ever heard to the question, "Do these pants make me look fat?" was, "No, the beer and the wings that you ingest at an alarming rate make you look fat. The pants are an innocent party in all of this this." The only thing I would add would be to punctuate it with, "Fatass!" at the end.

Of course, I've never, ever used this line on my wife because a) it's not true; and most importantly, b) I value my life.
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Lauren - 2006-03-04 16:42:32
The very worst answer I have ever heard, although Al's is pretty great, is, "Honey, you seem moody. Is it that time of the month?". Followed up by a, "And yeah, by the way, have you gained weight?".
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sarkasmo - 2006-03-05 00:08:08
Heh! I lied about everything when I was in grade school. I don't know why, and I don't know why I stopped lying when I got to high school. I definitely enjoyed the challenge of coming up with interesting, but still believable, lies in grade school.
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uNCLEPUMPKIn - 2006-03-05 02:57:05
Never write an entry this bad again.
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Summer Gale - 2006-03-06 12:35:44
You won't catch a girl asking for that (pencil dick!!) but did you sign up for D&D online? That's my kinda game. I did because I'm a certified dork/geek with a Computer Science degree to prove it (plus I got the t-shirt)
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f-i-n - 2006-03-10 09:56:46
were you drunk ;) ?
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