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Comments:
Gumphood - 2006-01-05 10:47:29
I acutally intend to do that last one.
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infamy - 2006-01-05 10:50:56
I find it hard to believe that you haven't done the last one yet. I mean, really.
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Kelly - 2006-01-05 10:53:11
You recycled some from 2003 you big cheater. I still love #18 from 2004 the most although lassoing a cat is pretty chuckalicious.
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jess - 2006-01-05 11:36:09
sounds like wonderful resolutions. *ahem* hope you keep to all of them! xoxo - me
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Kenny - 2006-01-05 12:03:31
That's quite a list you've got there. You know, if you really focus on naming other peoples' kids, you could cos some real confusion, which is fun for everyone!
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Anne - 2006-01-05 12:04:22
hee, if you keep these? '06 will not only be the best ever, it will live in infamy, here in the Bay State (to clarify it won't be living in the infamy who commented above...)
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Andria - 2006-01-05 12:33:04
Awesome list, Gump. Hey, could you give my number to the Baron of Blumpkin? Cause nothing gets me going like blowing a guy while he's taking a shit. Ewww. Ok, I might have even offended myself that time.
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Andy - 2006-01-05 12:36:45
2) Stop treating toothpaste and semen the same, regardless of similarity.
This should make your dentist happy. Um, you got something there....on your corner of you lip...dried and crusty....nope not toothpaste.
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Blaze - 2006-01-05 12:55:29
Lasso a cat...that's GENIUS!
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Summer Gale - 2006-01-05 13:33:17
Number 31 will make you a very popular person. Good Luck!
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DanjerusKurves - 2006-01-05 13:34:33
There will be NO lassooing of kats! You may, however, address me as Empress of Erotica henceforth ... ;)
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Andy - 2006-01-05 13:53:25
2) Stop treating toothpaste and semen the same, regardless of similarity.
Also, you should either switch toothpaste brands or go see a urologist. Something is not right.
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Gumphood - 2006-01-05 14:09:50
Is andy trying to tell me something
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infamy - 2006-01-05 14:13:13
I think he's trying to tell you that your boxers shouldn't smell of mint. I would argue that mint really is a best-case scenario.
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awittykitty - 2006-01-05 14:19:02
Andy certainly seems kind of obsesssed with the semen one. Hmmm. But moving on...Maybe you should combine the cat lassoing one with the stupidest video game, Gump. That certainly seems to fill the bill. p.s. I too, would like to see the Cigarette Smoking Man wonder onto the LOST island.
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Andy - 2006-01-05 15:23:50
For that minty flavor, fresh from the dentist clean ejacualtion, try new and improved Gump! Approved by the ADA.
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Andy - 2006-01-05 15:25:50
Which also begs the punchline....
Gump, you've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across!
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Infamy - 2006-01-05 15:32:22
Wow. Two-fer. Good one.
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[ - 2006-01-05 15:56:12
Mental note: Dont ever borrow Gump's toothbrush.
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Al - 2006-01-05 16:36:55
Or get him to give you a facial....Was that going too far...I think I went too far.
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Sarah - 2006-01-05 16:46:42
Numbers 6 and 14 are my favorites. I cracked up reading six. Poor kids. Lol. I'll have to remember to use that one on my sister.
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Judith - 2006-01-05 18:03:25
"Become the Connoisseur of Cunnilingus"
Uh...You're a man of many talents,gump.
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infamy - 2006-01-05 18:37:53
#36: Learn to count to four.
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willowfox - 2006-01-05 19:27:40
your poor girlfriend... she doesn't know whether to spit or swallow. and If i am ever subjected to that godawful peanut butter jelly crap again, i will probably implode. I tried the mini tacos, though, and i like 'em!
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Phil - 2006-01-05 21:50:26
My 2006 resolution is to give up trying to outdo him. (no need to shave a letter P Gump).
As Kel said - chuckalicious!
Infamy - if Gump uses Colgate it's called the ring of confidence which brings up a while new slew of worst case scenarios.
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Beulah - 2006-01-05 21:51:14
Don't break the 2007 glasses! I love those things!
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bethany - 2006-01-06 12:41:09
Maybe you could also add "Seriously consider anal bleaching." Do the ladies of Boston a favor, yo.
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