Comments:

Gumphood - 2005-09-22 16:37:02
My comments and I are at an uneasy alliance. Be Warned.
-------------------------------
Gumphood - 2005-09-22 16:39:53
Betty says -- so the only reason you can like someone is for sex?? I wonder why I maintain relationships with males online then if there is no sex or chemistry involved?
-------------------------------
Gumphood - 2005-09-22 16:40:22
I reply -- Relationships do not have to be physically to require sexual attraction. I've never seen or touched any movie stars. Maybe something about the security of talking to someone is more meaningful in the attraction stages for you than physical contact. Girls in particular can be turned off in non-phsyical ways quicker than in physical ways.
-------------------------------
Gumphood - 2005-09-22 16:42:25
Can anyone Leave comments besides me? This is fucked up.
-------------------------------
jennifer - 2005-09-22 16:42:45
I think that as a rule, you're right. But to every rule, there are exceptions. I have exactly *one* male friend with whom there has never been a sexual spark on either side, and with whom I have a close friendship (i.e. not one of convenience because we run in the same circle of people). Our friendship is a fluke. I'm well aware of that. But it *can* happen.
-------------------------------
alice - 2005-09-22 16:42:55
Yes Im pretty sure most men would pick Angelina over Brad! Hell Id pick Angelina over Brad! Although if I star at her too much I feel like Im going to be ill.
-------------------------------
betty - 2005-09-22 16:43:06
comment.
-------------------------------
betty - 2005-09-22 16:43:33
comments working!!!
-------------------------------
Gumphood - 2005-09-22 16:45:06
Alice did you mean Angelina over Jennifer?
-------------------------------
alice - 2005-09-22 16:47:46
I had one male friend...once...he ended up thinking he was in love with me and wrote sad songs about it. I only have one single guy friend, but hes part of a bigger circle of all married people, so the dynamic is different. It can happen though.
-------------------------------
GoingLoopy - 2005-09-22 16:50:04
Women divide men into those categories too...I'm just saying. And the attraction doesn't always have to do with looks...there are ugly guys you want to do the horizontal mambo with, and cute ones that you can't imagine.
-------------------------------
alice - 2005-09-22 16:51:45
Gump...you wrote:"It's an almost universal fact that men would prefer Angelina to Brad." so there.
-------------------------------
andrew - 2005-09-22 16:53:07
Gump, after I replied to you just now, I had a thought, I would bet you thought your comments weren't working because your browser was showing you an old cached version of this page, maybe that was all the problem was?
-------------------------------
Meany - 2005-09-22 16:53:51
Actually, Gump, I think Alice had the right idea -- I like to think about Angelina "over" Brad ... mmm!

Great observances, though. I like the way Chris Rock said it -- To a woman, a platonic male friend is a dick in a jar." But what about internet friends, whom one may not necessarily ever know if one is attracted to?
-------------------------------
chillier - 2005-09-22 16:58:44
Mutalisk totally wanted you. I have an unattractive friend who has lots of guy "friends", but she talks about dating each and every one of them. Sometimes they even get drunk enough to mess around with her, but they're always right back to friends once the beer goggles come off. Great entry, by the way. Although nothing could top the Christmas catalogue ones, those were pee in your pants funny.
-------------------------------
nicim - 2005-09-22 18:08:30
i have had more male friends than female friends my entire life - and i do mean entire. Looking at the years in which sex could have been some part of the friendships, i would say right on brotha'. There is no doubt that every one of my male friendships has some aspect of sexual/physical attraction - even if neither of us ever acted on it.
-------------------------------
Sarika - 2005-09-22 18:35:13
It's so funny you should write about this when i was thinking about it just earlier. My closest friends seem to be male, although there are a couple of girly pals thrown in. lets take mr A and B with A I think the strength of the friendship lies in the safe knowledge that neither party is sexually interested in the other. I mean, to put it simply, he's the brother i never had. We whinge about the opposite sex and he makes me laugh but the knowledge that there could never be anything sexual is the GLUE. Person B (and there have been a few B people in the past) I will generalise as Men Who Are Unclear About Their Intentions. The ones who become your best friends but continue on some level of flirtation that exists when people first meet and you end up feeling somewhat uncomfortable with the friendship as in almost all cases You Are Not Interested, Sorry. And because it's such a delicate thing, you end up pulling away from the friendship because it starts to get weird and you don't want to be leading anyone on etc. So thats my female experience for you. And as for the "if theres no attraction why did you become friends.." theres always a reason, sometimes these friendships just take longer to get started before you realise you get on well or have something in common. x
-------------------------------
Belle - 2005-09-22 18:42:56
Lawdy, you are so wrong, I don't know where to start. First of all, Angelina is not better because she's younger. The other reasons, yes, but not age. That kind of thinking has contributed to all kinds of discrimination and maltreatment against women for centuries, and is a major problem facing society. Besides, age has nothing to do with quality, or I wouldn't have so many younger men panting after me. (Not to be conceited...) Second, there are indeed friendships in the animal kingdom. Hence packs, herds, flocks, and so on. Third (and now maybe here is where I'm a dolphin), I am friends with a number of men I am not the least sexually attracted to, nor they for me. (Trust me on this.) So. Um. So.
-------------------------------
Kelly - 2005-09-22 18:46:04
Its so great that you think the exact same way that I do except you took about 5 gazillion more words to say it, ya big Mo.
-------------------------------
Jackie - 2005-09-22 19:59:32
Wow. Did Andrew really leave you a comment? I'm in awe.
-------------------------------
sharon - 2005-09-22 20:10:49
ummm....i have no clue how to respond to this. i am the biggest offender and supposed supporter of "guys and girls" being friends and so on. i could give you several examples...but then again, you know me well enough to retaliate with other examples. so..um...well...um...ok, i don't know what to say. i'm the biggest offender [not offended...but person who broke a lot of the rules here] so, i'm going to end on that and come up with a good retaliation later.
-------------------------------
Phil - 2005-09-22 21:59:01
I wasn't quite sure where you were going with this until the second last line. "I think that women and men that are friends have some level of sexual attraction." That my friend is an great unspoken truth.
-------------------------------
alice - 2005-09-22 22:13:57
oh and what phil said too....
-------------------------------
witty - 2005-09-22 23:02:52
I'm always sexually attracted to people I can't have, like married men, gay men, movie stars, men with large bank accounts, bloggers. Its a curse! A curse I say! I think, however, if I can ever find the right person who offers both great sex and great friendship, I'll be one happy camper.
-------------------------------
Amber - 2005-09-22 23:51:43
Why does the attraction always have to be some form of SEXUAL attraction? Just because I'm friends with a guy, doesn't mean I want to hump and perhaps have their babies. I have a lot of guy friends and I'm quite sure there is no sexual attraction on their parts either. It's more about an attraction to the sense of humor, the way their brain works, etc. By the way, this is a VERY disconcerting entry. It brings up questions about your friends of the opposite sex that you really DON'T want to think about. Like, all I can think right now is, "OMG! HAVE I BEEN LYING TO MYSELF FOR THE PAST X AMOUNT OF YEARS?!" I do agree that a gay man is the best kind of friend that a woman can have though :).
-------------------------------
Kathryn - 2005-09-23 01:09:42
Amber is right, now I'm thinking about all my friends of the opposite sex now and wondering...Thanks a lot Gumpster! hehe
-------------------------------
gumphood - 2005-09-23 01:14:58
Hey Alice. Put the http:// <-- in front of the alicefalls.diaryland.com to get through. That will allow people to actually CLICK your link!
-------------------------------
alice - 2005-09-23 09:08:57
there...is that better? can you CLICK my link now?
-------------------------------
Kathryn - 2005-09-23 10:27:35
Yes alice, you can :)
-------------------------------
golfwidow - 2005-09-23 10:33:53
I have friends who are male who are not attracted to me and vice versa. I am not attracted to Brad Pitt. I could never love a boy who is prettier than I am. If a Platonic relationship is based on the teachings of Plato, does a "plutonic" relationship get its basis from the planet, the Roman god, or the Disney dog?
-------------------------------
Summer Gale - 2005-09-23 11:15:24
Sexual attraction on one side or the other existed in every one of my male friends even if it is no longer there, or it's there but buried so it doesn't threaten th e friendship. I have found that sexual attraction is even at work in my choice of female friends too unless they were childhood friends. I don't act on it but I do think they are pretty. I suspect that it also may exist on a subconscious level for men to men friends too.
-------------------------------
Infamy - 2005-09-23 11:17:07
"That women and men that are friends have some level of sexual attraction." OK, I'm prepared to agree with that, with the caveat that often it is so buried that neither is aware that it's there. Or perhaps it's become so familiar that neither party realises that that's what it is, anymore. (My male friends outnumber my female ones by a ratio of about 3:1 BTW) But that brings us to a question: What about same-sex friendships between straight people? Do you think, deep down where you don't even notice it, there's an attraction between you and your male friends that steps its toe ever-so-slightly over the platonic boundary? What about with two women friends? We're supposed to more in touch with such things.
-------------------------------
Infamy - 2005-09-23 11:21:59
Summer Gale types faster than I do.
-------------------------------
candoor - 2005-09-23 11:49:06
they call me Flipper...
-------------------------------
candora - 2005-09-23 11:54:26
#4, why would you want to be around them?... because there is no physical attraction... because she is sensitive and beautiful inside and shares interests and opinions and because there is no physical attraction, you can be sure she does not want you just for your body or as a trophy... fun to hang out with and safe, like a sister, like a best friend who happens to have genitals that are different from yours... but that's just my answer and I already know I'm strange...
-------------------------------
Matty - 2005-09-23 12:14:03
For the women who have platonic male friends: he is attracted to you. Whether he acts on that attraction is the thing. Even if he would never make a move on you in a skedillion years because he values your friendship too much, there are times when you're all dolled up and the lizard part of his brain croaks "nice rack".
-------------------------------
Gumphood - 2005-09-23 12:27:36
Guys and Girl are diffrent than Guys and Guys because at some point you ask yourself about the attractivness of the other person. Compatability between men and women is not just based on personality but between the allure of the opposite sex.

As for same sex feelings, Infamy and Gale, I will freely admit that those feelings exist on certain levels in varing degrees for certain people. However that is not a linebacker I am looking to tackle. However, I agree that I do find it an interesting obsevation.

I personally am a personal space invader. I like to break down boundries between myself and friends quickly, be girl or guy. I find that leads to a closer friendship faster. Weird though it maybe.
-------------------------------
Infamy - 2005-09-23 13:27:09
Space Invading = Unacceptable
-------------------------------
erin - 2005-09-23 14:23:10
it's the old _when harry met sally_ debate, and as a woman i say.... i side with harry. it's not possible. i am frustrated by this, especially this year, because i want to cultivate friendships with men but i can't. they always want to @#### me. i mean, i can appreciate and savor that but it gets annoying!
-------------------------------
Procrasto - 2005-09-23 14:49:45
Bravo, young Gump!! And I proved the point that men and women can't be friends due to my forthcoming nuptials. Even though I tried very hard to do the inverse. Whatever that means.
-------------------------------
bethany - 2005-09-23 15:25:05
Since my comments section is a barren wasteland and yours today is a thriving metropolis, bite me. Hard enough to break skin.
-------------------------------
Kathryn - 2005-09-23 15:59:10
Plus Angelina's boobs are bigger.
-------------------------------
mrgrainger - 2005-09-23 16:02:44
I dont think friends are always sexually attracted, afterall I've got a couple (of the few female) friends with whom there's no such attraction. The thing I've most noticed is that the non sexual friendships seem more stable though less exciting and vice versa.
-------------------------------
Andria - 2005-09-23 17:37:52
Damn it, Gump. How did I miss this yesterday? Ok. Here's what I think. I think men can't be friends with women they find attractive. I think if a women possesses something that men find unattractive, there's no problem. I have more than a few single male friends, and I've thought a lot about this, becuase whenever they're having problems with their girlfriends, they always tell me how much they wish they could find a girl just like me (i.e., a girl who acts like me, but doesn't LOOK like me), which I fucking HATE.
-------------------------------

add your comment:

your name:
your email:
your url:

back to the entry - Diaryland