Comments:

Kathy - 2005-09-21 16:38:42
Excellent witty analysis and brilliant conclusion. Where were you when I needed you a couple of years ago? Although I don't know about that thing where the woman has all the power on the blind date. Well OK, maybe you have a point. BUT the guy still has the power *after* the date - he either calls or he doesn't...
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Meany - 2005-09-21 16:42:54
What if the girl just wants to get laid?
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alice - 2005-09-21 16:52:43
Ive never been on a blind date. My sister just went on one..I havent heard about it yet...so she could be dead...but Im sure my mom would tell me...unless shes too stoned to notice. I think you should sell this to a men's magazine...because a)you make $ b)guys need to know this info and c)girls like it when a guy suggests something different and it prevents the "what do you want to do?" loop. Youd be doing mankind a favour of grand porportions. oh and could you update more often...I get really bored at work.
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Brownie - 2005-09-21 16:54:02
Yeah,or what if the man is looking for someone to stay with forever? Then he must also be picky. Or when the girl is hideous. Then the power thing is also not working too well. Believe me!
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Kelly - 2005-09-21 16:57:45
I do the dead plate thing too. It drives T nuts. I've even said "DEAD!" and thrown my napkin on top of my plate then clapped my hands showing that I'm done with it. I should probably take this as a sign that I need more help than I originally thought and now I understand why he doesnt take me out much.
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Amber - 2005-09-21 17:50:16
Holy crap, Gump. Between you and Phil, I think I'm convinced that there really are actual, decent, guys out there. That was brilliant. Truly brilliant!
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E-beth - 2005-09-21 17:50:23
I'm a nerd. The best date I ever went on was at a bookstore.
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Anneliese - 2005-09-21 18:11:29
I hate your generalities, you freak. Guys just care if the girl is hot? The girl just wants to be impressed? Eww... what a negative world that would be if it were real. Come now, is all you care about is whether the girl is hot? Well, you've heard me on my soapbox about this before, so I'll go now!
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gumphood - 2005-09-21 18:17:43
Disclaimer! I put a disclaimer! Did you read the Disclaimer! I am aware of what i do!
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Matty - 2005-09-21 18:39:57
Actually, I find any 10am-start-on-a-weekend first date is pretty successful, for most of the reasons you describe. Now if I could only convince some nice girl to go on one with me.
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awittykitty - 2005-09-21 19:46:10
The last blind date I went on, all the way over to meet him, all I was saying to myself was, "I know he's going to think I'm a loser." And you know what? he did. After 10 minutes together he told me he didn't feel any sparks and left me standing in a parking lot. So BOO to your girls have all the power thing. BOOO! And he was short and had a big nose too! And I was way cuter than him. BOOOO!
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Belle - 2005-09-21 20:02:54
Gump, you forgot one very important thing. Hygiene. Fellas: CLEAN clothes, SHAVED faces, BRUSHED hair and teeth, SHOES not sneakers. Even if the date doesn't work out, it's the difference between being remembered as a slob and being remembered as someone who wasn't quite right for her, but maybe a match for her friend.
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Jackie - 2005-09-21 20:20:38
"I was a girl once you know". Well that answers everything. ;)
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candoor - 2005-09-21 20:25:06
I've tried all that and have come up with this: be yourself. Everything else is window dressing.
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GoingLoopy - 2005-09-21 20:36:53
Actually, the best way to blind date is to have mutual friends invite you to an informal gathering. That way, if you don't like each other in the first three seconds, you have lots of other people to talk to. The added bonus is that all your friends see how the date went, so you don't have to have the conversation about it 97 times.
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sexyatheist - 2005-09-21 20:40:46
i would love to see you play with your food. i'd be all for that. and i found a HUGE hole in your solution, at least for 4 months out of the year. sunday, is football day. and i won't give that up for brunch with some blind date. better yet, they can meet me somewhere to watch football. this works as an early detection plan anyway. if they don't like football they are out.
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Phil - 2005-09-21 21:38:29
Having an activity in mind for after brunch is also recommended, so if you want to extend the date you have a good option. "I'm going to the markets to have a look around for XYZ, want to come and help me make fun of the hippies?"
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chillier - 2005-09-21 22:06:59
BUT what if she's like super religious and finds it offensive that you would do anything on a Sunday other than worship the Lord/Allah/Whateverthefuck? Would you be shallow and judge her for her religiosity? I would.
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Sarah - 2005-09-21 22:54:46
I would have to agree with the no coffee thing, but that might be because I just started a job in a coffee shop. Plus I don't drink coffee anyway. Isn't that ironic? Well no, not really. Um, nevermind.
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Kathryn - 2005-09-22 01:18:55
Do you have telepathic powers? How do you know all this? Are you sure you're not secretly homosexual? You hit the figurative nail on the head in this entry, Mr. Gump.
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Lu - 2005-09-22 03:33:09
Gump, seriously my dear, how do you know this shit? And secondly, how many marriage proposals have you gotten before? And third...I do the napkin thing, too. For me, it's not about the meal being "dead". It's more, get it the fuck away from me, I can't eat another bite. So I cover it...cause if I can't see it, it's not there. Clever girl I am, eh? ;)
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Sarika - 2005-09-22 06:58:45
darling, you should write a book. And I think you must have been a woman once. Ciao from Italy, naples is my new home and it's totally, totally insane.. x
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candoor - 2005-09-22 08:19:46
I must have had something to say yesterday because I find this comment page open today, but I've forgotten... I wonder if it was profound...
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Katie - 2005-09-22 09:22:58
Oh how I wish there were more guys that knew these brilliant things. Brunch...what an idea...perfect. Gump I really agree with alice on the whole selling this to a mens mag...I mean really...all guys in the world should know these things...well except the skeevy ones because then we go out with them because we hear they are nice and then it just turns really bad.
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Procrasto - 2005-09-22 10:50:51
Oh Gumper. I have had many the beertime debate on the subject of male/female generalities. Many the late night (aka drunken), discussion as to how the man dances the dance (hopefully figuratively) and hops through hoops for the women. They are, of course, in complete control. At all times. I think it's biological, metaphysical and genetic(al). BUT, my Dr Gump! I DO look forward to your thesis on the subject: Can Men and Women BE just friends. With NO "When Harry Met Sally references. Oh - and I have tickets to see the Habs first rencontre with les Bruins pre-season next Tuesday. Go Habs. This is our year.
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Erika - 2005-09-22 12:07:46
It's funny you should mention your ritual of hiding your food. On our cruise, we found out our friend is a food burier. We laughed at her incessently about it.
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Fancy McPrince - 2005-09-22 14:20:48
Oh Foo Pah!! J'aime saisir votre �ne dans les restaraunts chers.
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Summer Gale - 2005-09-22 15:51:12
It is a great date but I've blown away people by suggesting bowling. People never bowl anymore and you get to rag each other out. It's fun because chances are good that you're both horrible and you get to check out each others asses :)
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Gumphood - 2005-09-22 16:04:43
Ah, but Summer Gale! You switch turns, which means an activity where you two don't talk. Its just back and forth banter. Is that the best for a BLIND date? I think not. Maybe an after activity or a second date. You know, if you are both smartasses.
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Anneliese - 2005-09-22 19:03:13
I saw your disclaimer, but I was so fired up I couldn't help myself!
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