Comments:

Kelly - 2005-05-25 14:57:27
My richy boyfriend dumped me by not taking my calls then telling me he forgot that he had already asked someone else to the prom, so I had to make my own dress and go alone. Thank god Duckie was there.
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Cookie - 2005-05-25 14:58:37
I just usually pretend they don't exist. Like, the whole denial thing, so that's not very amusing. My senior year of high school boyfriend broke up with me by calling me at work and asking for his golf ring back. We had dated for nine months, by the way. He was an ass.
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Andy - 2005-05-25 15:02:36
Once, a girl I was seeing showed up unannouced at my apartment. After chit chatting for a few minutes she pulls out a revolver and points it at me, telling me she'll kill me. She babbled incoherently for a bit, and then walked out.

I kinda took that as a sign that maybe our relationship has run it's course and maybe we should "see" other people.

She was an alcholic, and quite possibly had a few other things going on...good times. good times.
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Gumphood - 2005-05-25 15:13:01
Dude, was she also your pimp?
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Google Man - 2005-05-25 15:14:13
My Chick....she Googled me to death
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Andy - 2005-05-25 15:14:57
No, just my little vodka filled fuck buddy in Lowell
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Samantha - 2005-05-25 15:18:12
I just wrote about that very thing.
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Samantha - 2005-05-25 15:18:57
stupid diaryland. http://samanthaphi.diaryland.com/LONGRANGE.html
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Andy - 2005-05-25 15:19:49
YOu had a drunken, drugged out whore pull a gun on you too Samantha??!?!?

Small world. Small. World. Indeed!
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cloudy - 2005-05-25 15:21:41
Ha ha Kelly. I always break up with someone over the phone or in a letter, NEVER in person, so if they threaten suicide, I don't have to deal with it. Dear Gump...
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Pandi - 2005-05-25 15:24:31
I've never been dumped. I am perfect. (Kidding. But it was so long ago, I don't remember...)
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Mary - 2005-05-25 15:30:42
My first-ever boyfriend in h.s. and I primarily got together for the sake of our junior proms (he was from a hicksville h.s.). We sort of just stopped calling each other after prom, but within a month, he started dating one of my close friends. Later, they got engaged, only for him to break it off. A year later, she took him back, they got engaged again, and then he broke it off again. Just think if I had actually stayed with him!
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Kellbelle - 2005-05-25 15:40:08
My boyfriend told me one summer that he couldn't see me anymore because #1 He just didn't love me as much as I loved him, and #2 that he's gay.
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wittikins - 2005-05-25 15:41:53
I told the guy his WIFE was a bitch...in so many words. Funny how guys are sensitive about their wives being called a bitch. He wanted me to confront her. Pretty twisted, huh? Only because he didn't have the balls to confront her. You know...about, well....that thing where he kept telling me he loved me. He was in total denial. As was I. And he was afraid of his wife. What a loser.
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DanjerusKurves - 2005-05-25 15:52:44
I once quite gently explained to a guy that I didn't feel our relationship was working out and that it was best we call it quits. He called me The Same Night to "break up with" me. wtf?
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Gumphood - 2005-05-25 16:04:39
Kellbelle -- Did he even need part 1?
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Gumphood - 2005-05-25 16:08:07
Kurve: You're fired.

Reponse : NO YOU'RE FIRED

Kurve: No, actually I'm not. You are.

Repsonse: Then what am I.

Kurve: Fired. This is exactly why. You don't get anything

Repsonse: We'll just see about that...
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Jennifer - 2005-05-25 16:14:37
When I was in 9th grade, I dated my friend's brother, Adam. After a couple weeks, he decided he liked our friend Laura better than me, so while she and I were riding our bikes to the mall to buy 45's of "Let's Go Crazy," he had his mom drive him to my house so he could leave a NOTE, folded into a football and telling me he was breaking up with me, in my driveway. Later that afternoon, he had his best friend call me to see if I'd found it. Yep. Classy moves, that guy.
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DanjerusKurves - 2005-05-25 16:30:18
Gumpy's creative spellings of "response" made me HOT!
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krissie p - 2005-05-25 16:31:27
ok... i could write about this forever... i think my favorite break up(so fucking movie but so fucking true) was with this guy that thought he was an alien (only after he thought he was the second comming of christ) he wasnt really my boyfriend but for a psycho jobless loser he was great in bed. so... we meet my friends for dinner one night and as were waiting for them he is looking around the restraunt and says "im the only one with a soul here... these people are all sheep. they have no souls" when i asked if i was included in the generalization and he said i was... i flipped out on him. i told him he was "the most souless fuck i ever met and that he had no right to judge the people around us without knowing a single one of them." after i finished reaming him and making him feel like a 6 year old... he acted like one. he wouldnt eat, drink, talk or even lift his head from staring at his lap. i talked to my friends about what happened as if he werent there... (im sure creep boy thought the was focusing his chi and was invisible or something) so it was time to leave after dinner and we all walked down togeter to wait for a cab. of course this is during a giant fucking snow storm and so cabs were hard to come by and we were all going in different directions... so after waiting an hour and a half at 2:30am i decided to walk the 5 miles home. i threw $20 at the jobless bastard and told him "dont you dare ever think about calling me again you fucking asshat and forget about me and dont dare show your face around my friends either" and i started to walk. he started to follow me. me managed to follow me the whole way despite my screaming in his face. we got to my house and i told him if he stepped foot on my property i should call the cops and tell them you followed me and your scaring me. he had a nice 15 mile walk after that. now he works at the supermarket near me. the most we have said to one another is... him: french bread and olives? me: choke on it... sorry for the novel... you inspire me.
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betty - 2005-05-25 16:39:46
well there was the guy that slept with my mom and told me he was in love with her. Or the guy that spent the entire weekend at my house and then went home and EMAILED me to dump me. Or the guy that told me I didn't have a "kind and loving spirit". (I think he's gay) And the guy I broke up with by going to his house and leaving a note on the door telling him not to call anymore ... while he was in the living room.
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uNCLEPUMPKIn - 2005-05-25 16:44:44
Funniest breakup style? Murder-suicide, hands down.
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DanjerusKurves - 2005-05-25 17:39:35
Psycho losers are so often great in bed!
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GoingLoopy - 2005-05-25 18:16:28
DK, so right you are.

And my breakup story involves the "letter element" and the "calling me to tell me I'm a bitch and he didn't like me anyway" element.
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Jessica - 2005-05-25 18:47:36
Well, I haven't got any great break up stories except that I broke up another couple. It went like this: "Im sleeping with your boyfriend" "Really?" "yeah" "Well, both of you suck." "Yeah, but I thought you should know" "ok, thanks"
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Cookie Crumbcatcher - 2005-05-25 22:41:53
Holy crap. Somebody named cookie already signed this sucker... weird... Anyway, back in my younger years when I was quite a bit less stable I had a boyfriend of over 2 years. We'd talked about getting married, and I had a promise ring (because I am a gullible idiot), and we were taking kind of break because of some issues I was dealing with. He'd suggested it to "make sure I'd be healthy and ready to begin down our married path together." I was faithful to him the whole time, and when I was on the road to recovery I contacted him... only to find out he'd never actually intended on sticking it out with me. And he'd been getting blow jobs from some military girl. Oh yeah? So what am I wearing this goddamned RING for then? Ass. Also, Gump? Samoas. All the way.
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Phil - 2005-05-26 00:15:48
I relocted to a different country and didn't tell her.
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sarkasmo - 2005-05-26 03:20:14
DK, you speak the truth. And psycho losers always make for the best breakup stories, too. Like the one that had to see me one last time in the parking lot of my job so that he could put a spell on me. He: "Your relationships will always fail, you will never speak my name, your heart will remain broken..." I: "You done? I'm on break and I want to buy a pop."
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Becky - 2005-05-26 08:03:57
i had a guy once that i shagged when i was drunk (i think i wrote about this in my Fat Slut entries), and he got a bit obsessed with me. as in i had to sit in my flat with the curtains closed and pretend i was out all the time. he kept ringing me, and when he moved away he sent me a card saying he wanted to be my sex slave. the phone calls and letters continued and eventually i answered the phone to him and he said "So, do you still want a piece of my big black cock?" and i said "No not really" i didnt hear from him again, thankfully.
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razor-vixen - 2005-05-26 11:07:24
I've done most of the dumping, and none of it was amusing, unfortunately! Most of it was long overdue, and getting rid of those losers was the best thing I ever did!
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Lu - 2005-05-26 17:55:03
Never got dumped in a funny way. Although, once, when I was very young...the first boyfriend I ever had tried to kiss me, and I slapped him and told him not to touch me. He still thought I wanted to go out with him, after that, which I thought was funny.
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Angela - 2005-05-28 01:34:25
I once recieved a phone call on valentines day from my long distance boyfriend announcing that he had just spent the whole night with his best friend. And that it was FANTASTIC. And that I should be ok with that. Then he asked if we where still going out next weekend......
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