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Comments:
Alpha Male - 2005-02-23 12:11:17
I want to marry you Gumphood. Will you accept my purposal.
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Gumphood - 2005-02-23 12:12:28
You're gay. You can't be an Alpha Male. Didn't you read that. Plus you commented on my site. You're like a Delta Male.
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Gumphood - 2005-02-23 12:12:57
Did I just resort to a Greek alphabet joke?
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Alphabet Male - 2005-02-23 12:13:14
Yes. Now kiss me.
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Kelly - 2005-02-23 12:21:28
Great. thanks. I'm going to go kill myself now.
I'll be alone and unsuccessful until I die. thanks for reminding me. bastard.
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Sarah - 2005-02-23 12:22:04
Dear gump, I hope your computer unmelts soon. Life on diaryland is boring without you. Even though you like the Red Sox and all.
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Mary - 2005-02-23 12:22:55
Very timely advice. I have been settling for Deltas thus far; maybe I'll shoot for Beta...
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purplecigar - 2005-02-23 12:28:17
I'm solidly in the camp of aiming too high and being destined for disappointment. But I'd not have it any other way.
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chillier - 2005-02-23 12:31:02
I loved your update! Honestly I don't think anyone really has it all - everyone, even the most happy-leaning folk on the spectrum, have something they're bitching about. But way to break it down.
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singlegirl - 2005-02-23 12:50:25
I loved this entry. What a scary, but probably realistic way to look at relationships. I think though, that people tend to see what they want, so more often than not, people truly believe that their significant other has most of the traits you listed. And I think that for the most part, everyone, at some point, is attractive, funny, nice, sensitive, etc. People tend to only think about the good and dismiss the bad.
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cloudy - 2005-02-23 13:01:13
COD. Go to Duke.
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Cod - 2005-02-23 13:16:47
I'm going to Cape Cod Community College.
I couldn't resist becoming the fifth "C" in the four C's.
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krissie p - 2005-02-23 13:41:30
gumpy... i think your the smartest man alive... sorry about the meltdown.
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betty - 2005-02-23 13:43:11
ummm I'm going to agree with Kelly here.
where does that put us non-jessica simpson types who ARE smart and Funny but certainly don't have her nutrtionist to ensure nice ass and her stylist to pop out of bed looking like a barbie.
you addressed the alpha male issue - but what of men?
the alpha male, in reality, may start out that way but through time and the attention women will pay to him he becomes the undesirable asshole we originally didn't even want. So basically there is no good man.
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gumpshoeandnooneelsewilldo - 2005-02-23 13:46:14
what dis? you talkin' about other women?
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alyssa - 2005-02-23 14:07:33
cod, do NOT go to duke. not just because i hate them with every fiber of my being (go unc!), but because i hate north carolina with every fiber of my being. i cannot begin to explain the culture clash and anyone who tells you otherwise is a southerner aka doesn't get it in the first place. save yourself. try to save me while you're at it.
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GoingLoopy - 2005-02-23 14:56:12
Wow, Gump, you're even more of a knee-jerk cynical pessimist than I am. As far as dating goes, I think the real problem is that men and women want different things at different points in their life, and if you take a man and woman of the same age, they will want totally different things. But I think the real problem is that society conditions people to think that being single (aka being alone) is not okay...so a lot of people play the "better than nothing" dating game. (Hmm. This could be a new reality show...) Of course, this leads to being unhappy. The same theory applies to career...you take a job you hate because it's better than nothing, and wonder why you're not happy and not successful.
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Sarah - 2005-02-23 14:59:28
what the hell did your girlfriend do to you? What did LIFE do to you to make you see things this way?
Let me tell you something...happiness is relative. I hate to get all Gandhi on your ass, but seriously dude...life is what you make it. Shit happens (don't even get me started) and you can either dwell on it or shrug your shoulders and move on. It's all this big journey we're on and we can choose to see it how we want to.
What are you complaining about? The Red Sox are fucking world champions!!
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Gumphood - 2005-02-23 15:17:40
No look. I'm happy! Its not that, its just the world is so weird because there are really many many more unhappy people than happy people. Thats what I am talking about. This isn't personal.
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xquzme - 2005-02-23 15:44:34
Wait. So I'm not talented if I'm reading you? I'm going to choose not to take this personally. Speaking of choices... I think that most things which we call emotions or feelings have choice attached to them. I feel that way about love, happiness, anger, insensitivity, unkindness, ... need I go on? I don't know why people are happy, but my favorite quote is by Lincoln: generally people are as happy as they choose to be.
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Pandionna - 2005-02-23 15:46:01
Well, usually when women talk about "having it all," they mean marriage, career, and kids. You forgot kids. I don't want kids, though, so that puts me in your entry quite nicely. I'm successful, but that's not why my marriage ended. My marriage ended because I married the wrong person. I didn't "settle," though. I genuinely wanted to live with him and make a life with him. I am not sure what greek letter I am. I do know that I attract all kinds of people, from alpha to omega. However, since I've become VERY clear in what I DON'T want, while the responses to my on-line profiles have gone down, the quality has definitely gone UP. I firmly believe we get the respect we demand, and we get out of life what we put into it. If one is an omega, it's because one behaves like an omega, simple as that. And not one iota more. ;-)
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xquzme, I wasn't DONE! - 2005-02-23 15:47:43
P.S. Typically, I hit "enter" before I meant to -- I CHOOSE to miss you cuz who luvs, ya, Gump? I DO!
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xquxme... again - 2005-02-23 15:58:14
CORRECT quote: "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Cuz I didn't want to get busted. Cuz I'm all sensitive like that.
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bethany - 2005-02-23 16:37:38
dude, you are big fucking buzz kill.
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Lu - 2005-02-23 18:11:30
Wow. How depressing.
You used a dating and gambling analogy. That totally takes away from the dating and gambling analogy that i used in my last entry. YOU SUCK! haha.
I think pop culture has convinced too many young women that there are prince charming's out there. I'm not a pessimist, but I don't beleive these characters exist. I haven't met a man yet who was "everything I look for." Of course, this might just be the math, but it might also be because they're myths.
However, I am not hopeless. I do beleive that every person who comes and goes in your life, has a great impact on who you are. So if chance brings you someone that makes you happy, maybe perfect can change. It's just a thought.
I don't know. I just know that i'm not one to settle for anything less than what I deserve. And I know I deserve more than "almost what i'm looking for."
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Katie - 2005-02-23 20:36:07
Your Greek is horrible. Neener.
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Ellen - 2005-02-23 20:43:21
It's good to have dreams, but it's also good to be realistic. I'm a firm believer that if you really want it, you can get it. Oh, and - being a business woman and having a boyfriend - what's the big deal about that? You can have both. That certainly doesn't seem unrealistic. If you can't find love, like most people complain they can't, then more than likely - they're lookin' in the wrong place. So. Dream big, aim high in life, and if you want it bad enough, you'll get it. You've got one chance at this life, get your ass in order and make it happen. ;)
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Sharon aka anniewaits - 2005-02-23 21:23:25
thanks to you, i got 8 billion hits today. I guess i should've made my entry longer. and since i can't go in depth about what i was REALLY talking about there..i think it's time to settle for somebody who makes you laugh and have good sex with and makes you feel good. apparently, both guys do this but they are stronger in other avenues. okay, i'm rambling. do we even live in the same house anymore?
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Samantha - 2005-02-23 21:57:36
My thoughts on dating: http://samanthaphi.diaryland.com/040629_50.html http://samanthaphi.diaryland.com/EUREKA.html
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Phil - 2005-02-23 22:03:33
Honestly Gump, that's one of the best posts you've written. Give it an edit and send it to a newspaper, that good.
The only part I disagree with is "men with money". Replace it with "successful men" and I'm with ya 100%. I've got a mate who's a kickass public defender, makes no money but women love him.
Everybody says, "you shouldn't settle", which I agree with but then forget the collary which is, "nobody is perfect including yourself".
Dating/marriage is a game of action and consequence. If you want to marry a professional independant spirited woman than be prepared to cook and wash your own clothes.
If women want to wear the pants then be aware that you'll probably end up with a dishrag for a guy.
We have to try to find a balance between these two ends of spectrum. Decide upon what qualities you definately cannot compromise on and then be open to everything else.
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Samantha - 2005-02-23 22:03:35
Let me try that again: crazy women eureka!
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betty - 2005-02-24 00:40:24
you've riled up the women folk, gumpy.
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MagpieFaerie - 2005-02-24 00:50:14
About to get so deep here, which is definitely not my thing, but I had to comment. And it will be a long one. Is there a word limit?
As far as 'Do we expect to much out of life?' goes: In a word. No. In several more: if you're going to dream, why not dream big? I didn't dream about what I'm doing now. I didn't think, when I was a girl: "When I'm closing in on 30, I want to be single and work retail." Despite that, I'm happy enough. If there are things I want to change, I have the werewithal to do so. There is jealousy, sometimes, of those who seemingly 'have it all' through no real efforts of their own. For those that earned it, though, how could I feel jealous over something like that?
What I really think you meant was 'Do we expect too much out of other people?' And that would probably be a big 'Oh yeah.' I agree with one of the above comments - women are trained from birth, practically to coat everything in fairy dust and to believe that somewhere out there is that special Alpha Male, who is everything we ever dreamed of when we were teenagers and swimming with hormones. Still, even the Alpha Male has flaws. We all do. All comes down to loving someone in spite of themself.
I suppose it all comes down to choice. You can choose to take your pleasures in the small things, or not. Life is a joke, really, if you take the time to see it.
Not sure if anything really made sense. I'm just talking out of my ass.
I enjoy reading your entries, though. Enthusiastic thumbs up.
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Amber - 2005-02-26 22:09:26
It's all about mind set. If you can believe it and conceive it... you're going to achieve it. Whether it's in work, relationships, whatever. You have to be able to visualize it and see yourself doing something and truly believe that it will happen and once you do that, you won't be subconsciously sabotaging yourself. And it will happen. But those are just my thoughts and I, for the most part, am an optimist.
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