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Comments:
ZOe' - 2005-01-30 21:34:58
I think I love you already.lol. I'm so glad I added you, Betty has raved about you forever, and I've just been to busy to actually come to your diary and read you. But this entry made me laugh, now I'm just kicking myself for not adding you sooner!!!
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Ellen - 2005-01-30 22:35:27
Let's eat cookies together. We'll make crumbs in bed.
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Nicole - 2005-01-30 22:44:23
Oh, yeah! Man, I can't wait for that smug bastard to eat his weight in Oreo Doublestuff cookies and end up face-down in the snackfood aisle at the 7-11 weighing about 300 pounds and begging Subway to return his phone calls. *evil laughter* In answer to your question... *cough* yeah, I really do like "Return of the Living Dead III" It's the third part in a truly awful, cheesy take-off on Romero's Dead flicks. I can't help it. It's FUNNY! Um... there's also a hot zombie chick. Oh, crap. That just made me sound even worse, didn't it? *sigh* ;)
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Vicki - 2005-01-30 23:04:43
I can see it now, Jarred (or however his name is spelled, I'm too lazy to check) on the E! True Hollywood Story
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Lu - 2005-01-30 23:48:02
Funny you were thinking that, because I was just saying to a friend of mine about two days ago, that he is starting to put on weight again. And then we were talking about how he's probably going to eat himself to death.
WOO!
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not-tuesday - 2005-01-31 01:09:58
It so happens that Smacks is my favorite cereal.
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Jared - 2005-01-31 08:07:56
Hey man, that really hurts.
In a year�s time, and by incorporating exercise into my daily routine, I lost 245 pounds. Since then, I have appeared in numerous commercials for SUBWAY� restaurants and have traveled throughout the world talking about the importance of proper dieting and exercise. Earlier this year, I embarked on the �Jared & Friends School Tour� which is designed to teach children the benefits of healthy living. Since it started, I have spoken to more than 31,000 students. I have appeared on the �Oprah� show and �Larry King Live,� was the subject of a story on the CBS news program �48 hours� and was featured in the Washington Post, to name just a few.
Since my commercials aired, the SUBWAY� corporate headquarters has received thousands of letters, e-mails and photos from people who have been inspired by ME to lose weight and live healthier lifestyles. In all, these people have lost a total of 160,000 pounds! (To get an idea of how much 160,000 pounds is, it is equal to: 14,545 skateboards; 10,000 Marching band Tubas; 1,568 sets of Encyclopedias; 842 Jareds; 492 Black Bears; 426 Gorillas and 184 Grand Pianos). Now, I tell his remarkable story of being overweight as a child and how I decided to take control of my life and to eat right, exercise and get fit! So screw you. Haagen Daas does sound good right now...
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Gumphood - 2005-01-31 08:38:23
Thats right Jared...just one more spoonful. I got money you're 315 lbs by May 1st.
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andreeb - 2005-01-31 09:00:16
Ahhh, Jarrod that bastard. I share your hatred. You know that secretly his plastic surgeon has stapled his stomach and lipoed out all that fat from his midnight, pot-induced, Taco Bell feeding frenzies.
Bad Jarrod. Bad.
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BigPimpinMBA - 2005-01-31 09:25:27
Funny. Reminds me of when one of the first commercials came out with Jarrod and he had a theme song along the lines of a Blues shuffle arrangement.... Went... "Still lookin' good." Duhnahnahnah... If that makes any sense. I tortured all of my friends with that theme song and my own lyrics for quite some time.
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singlegirl - 2005-01-31 10:27:51
You're tired of him? He's from my hometown and therefore considered to be a "local celeb."
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Samantha - 2005-01-31 10:33:13
Dude, did you actually have a guest appearance by THE Jared, or am I just really gullible (or really blonde)?
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alyssa - 2005-01-31 12:27:29
it is good to know that not only girls can make a living off being skinny. so what does that bring the ratio to? 176,733 to 1? did you ever know that you're my hero?
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Mary - 2005-01-31 14:26:52
Dude, Jared is already starting to bulk up. Have you seen his latest commercial? Too much on-the-road eating with all of his speaking engagements. That man is headed for Pot Belly Central!
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Amber - 2005-01-31 18:15:35
Well, I thought your entry was funny but I took it as being more... sarcastic and I don't know. Just not as serious as some of these people took your entry. Wow! I never knew how much hatred that poor man has generated just by losing weight. The only thing that irritated me about those commercials is that really... who has the money to eat two or three subway sandwiches a day? Depending on how much weight you have to lose, that's a lot of damn money. That could be invested in you know... forgotten things like a treadmill maybe?? And a healthy eating plan that is more... inclusive then the Subway plan, ya know? But I guess I'm babbling now. See ya around the message boards, Gump! :)
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Kelly - 2005-01-31 21:20:04
I'd say something witty but I'm too busy trying not to throw up.
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Vizzi - 2005-02-01 00:10:00
Wow. You never cease to amaze me with your light and energetic sense of humor. On my off days, i quite enjoy coming here and reading your thoughts. And i do agree with this entry, no one eats Smacks and no one really cares about "No~Longer~Fat" man. Keep up the good stuff Gumphood and I'll keep coming back to get my fix, cuz i think i have an addiction to your kooky sense of self. I just hope you dont start to charge me for it... it'd be a pretty pricy addiction.
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Vizzi - 2005-02-01 00:16:28
I would also like to add that Jared did not lose the weight by just eating SUBWAY subs, there is actually a disclamer which states that you too can lose the weight if you eat like just the whole wheat bread, lettuce, tomato and like chicken. No mayo, ham, oil, etc. So like basiclly, you can make your own lettuce hogie athome for about 50 cents while you pay SUBWAY $5.50. HA. MONEY HUNGRY COOPERPORATION! ...Yea, i can't spell...
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kevin - 2005-02-01 10:03:22
I call bullshit on Jarrod. He is going to have a malfunctioning liver or something. And yes, Thursday night I am going to go see The Arcade Fire.
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