Comments:

alyssa - 2004-11-12 13:00:50
scarily, you were doing fine until you said girls still needed to. what do you think--when we use the toilet paper, we don't use enough square sheets to protect our hands from moisture or perhaps we're just SO UNUSUAL that wiping is not enough and instead, we jam our hands up there to make sure nothing is left behind?? no to both accounts, my friend, no to both accounts.
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Katie - 2004-11-12 13:01:22
Even if you wash your hands before, you still run into the knob problem. And this is where we all learn an important lesson: Paper towels are our friends.
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Gumphood - 2004-11-12 13:04:13
Girls have got this stuff down there. I am not at liberty to tell you more about it, but I have it on pretty good sources that they indeed have some stuff down there.
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Aeryn - 2004-11-12 14:07:40
Remind me not to shake your hand...
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BigpimpinMBA - 2004-11-12 14:49:20
I've got to go wash my hands from just reading that entry.

If you don't wash your hands and we shake hands and then I bite my nails later without washing my hands, I've just tasted your junk and that's just nasty. Please wash your hands. Grab a paper towel, turn on the faucet, place the towel in your pocket or something. Wash your hands. Use the paper towel to turn off the faucet and then use it to open the door on your way out. Make the Michael Jordan shot on your way out the door. Done. Clean. No more "junk hands".
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Gumphood - 2004-11-12 14:57:57
I wash my hands, but BEFORE i pee. No worries. No worries mate
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bohner - 2004-11-12 15:04:43
can you think up some sort of argument that allows me to get out washing MY hands? love, bohner
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Gumphood - 2004-11-12 15:27:17
post menapause, yes.
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laural - 2004-11-12 17:44:41
heheheheh. great entry. and it really makes sense...smiles.
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Lu - 2004-11-12 21:40:16
I...have quite a phobia of germs. I'm sort of obsessive about hand washing. I probably wash my hands 200 times a day. Maybe i'll count, one day. But hey, to each his own, I suppose. It makes sense to me.
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Liquid Human - 2004-11-14 12:43:16
After you shower, you should paint some sort of quick-drying second skin latex protective cover on your hands. The bonus is that it is invisible, so no one will know, and you can peel it off at the end of the day so your hands are just as sparkly clean as your penis. I guess I just don't like the idea of putting peepee hands on a sandwich and then the sandwich into my mouth. I don't think pee is sterile - it's body waste - but you can drink it if you absolutely have to. But don't. Especially if you eat lots of asparagus.
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thecape - 2004-11-14 18:08:40
sanitize the doorknob
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thecape - 2004-11-14 18:08:50
sanitize the doorknob
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Phil - 2004-11-14 23:17:17
If you get blisters on your hands from playing golf, the professionals recommend pissing on your hands to toughen them up. Anyway isn't pee sterile?
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sarkasmo - 2004-11-15 11:02:56
so if you went into a public restroom and saw some guy peeing on the faucets, you would, what? thank him?
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douglas coupland - 2004-11-15 11:34:22
this is so gen x
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