2003-05-15 - 4:24 p.m. 9021 Blow Alright So I have a statement to make. I am jealous of the vibrator. Why? Not cause I want to put it THERE, but because I have no equivalent. Oh wait. Guys have the pocket vagina Now before I go to town on the pocket vagina, I want to stay that IT�S A POCKET VAGINA For godsake, come up with a better name. That just sounds so dirty. Like I am some geekazoid who need one on him at all times. Options: The Clambake, Cunt Buster, Happy Place, Plastic Protrusion, Holy Hole, Mike Stand, Grip Glove, Ringworm, Gussy Pussy (this one in bad actually), and my personal favorite: The peach Pit. You could put Ian Zering�s head on the side. But anyway, if a girl says she has a vibrator. I think; that�s hot. I don�t think; oh, you must not get laid, or you�re a loser. If I am like, I own a Pocket Vagina, people will leave the room. And no chance of a girl every coming near me. They have porn devoted to vibrators. I will admit, its not a vibrator running around for ten minutes, it is mostly about the girl, but the vibrator is hot. Can you imagine the PV in porn? I envision some skinny 17-year-old kid all white, doing a hip-swerving dance. He seeing the Pocket Vagina on the table. He swings his hip, side to side, sliding over to it. �you�ve been a naughty Peach pit� The �peach pit� sits there �can I offer you a drink��..of KY jelly� cut to a scene of him injecting the plastic unit full of lube. Then without making myself puke, I will leave the rest to the imagination. Alright, so the vibrator usually look fairly classy. The PV I have usually seen a guy riding on it. WHY GOD WHY do you put a guy on the unit. I think that THEY are trying to make it funny. Is this because so when you are caught with it you have a cover story and can be like�.oh that�.it�s a guy riding a giant vagina,�..Its funny, not a sex toy cause I am too lazy to do the deed myself�.I swear. If you get caught you�re busted. Don�t make it funny. Crazy pocket vaginas make my penis soft. Not that I own one. Though about 75% now think that I do. Or will. The pocket vagina is just a travesty. It�s a joke. Even if it was cool, the biggest problem with it is multiple usage. Girls clean. I have seen them. They can pick things up and not become a total slob. Guys. We are lazy. Sam and I used to have fights over who would do the dishes. These fights lasted for weeks. AND There is no point in a guy�s life where he is less motivated to do chores than the 20 minutes immediately following masturbation. It doesn�t matter; he ain�t doing shit. That being said. Think about the nature of the pocket vagina. Its gotta be lubed and its got one hole. That means the man juice has gotta go somewhere. And its not a tissue. Its inside the vagina. Now here�s the scenario. You have just �completed the task.� You lying down, nude, with a filthy, filthy Peach Pit in your hand. Here is my guarantee. You are not cleaning that shit. Any guy who says he would is lying. You are going to throw it under the bed. You are NOT going to get up and go to the bathroom and clean the shit out with soap and water. That would be a HORSESHIT lie. It�s a one shot. Once you have blown it; its over. Are you going to clean it out before you use it the next time? No. You can only think about jerking it. You got no time for cleaning. Hell you barely have the motivation to reach for the tissue. And to those who say, �I would use it anyway,� let me say this. You are an otherworldly filth mystic. In closing my best argument against the Pocket Vagina is: Don�t blow it in the Peach Pit, cause what would your mom think? | |||||||||||
