2004-05-13 - 11:47 a.m. Big Snakes; Big Stakes Well, if you have read this diary you know a few things about me. One of which is that I love watching really, really bad movies. This is the reason why I got so excited to hear that Anaconda 2 is coming out. There is no way that is going to be good. Look at the signs. � the budget, 10 times the snakes, and Ice Cube refused to do it. I went on imdb and most of these actors have never been in a movie before. But wait� It gets better. Sci-Fi is showing the worst movie I have ever seen�Supernova this weekend. Oh my god that�s a bad movie. You really should watch it. It will make everything else in life seem so worthwhile. It�s like my theory that everyone should be hit once, just to know what its like. Anyway, just when I thought it couldn�t get any worse, Sci-Fi proves me wrong. They have, what I am calling, the single greatest worst movie I have ever heard of. I will now mock the hell out of the synopsis. Boa vs Python ( About as bad as Eks vs Sever ) A Sci-Fi ORIGINAL Movie After an overly ambitious businessman ( its always capitalisms fault ) transports an 80-foot python to the United States. The beast escapes ( Shock!) and starts to leave behind a trail of human victims. ( Umm�wouldn�t he eat them whole? ) An FBI agent and a snake specialist come up with a plot to combat the creature ( Unlike the writers of this movie ) � by pitting it against a bioengineered ( computer animated ), 70-foot boa constrictor. ( Oh yeah�A bigger snake. That�s the ticket ) It's two great snakes that snake great together! ( that�s the tagline�I�m not making this up ) This giant-reptilian showdown stars David Hewlett of the new SCI FI Original series Stargate Atlantis and cute-as-hell Playboy Playmate Angel Boris ( Because you gotta be cute as hell to make it into this movie (the SCI FI Pictures Originals Dragon Storm and Epoch: Evolution). Now for the TV Guide promotion Come and watch a tale of two great snakes that snake great together: Giant reptiles battle to the death � with hapless humans as the prize! ( Prize? ) David Hewlett (the new SCI FI Original series Stargate Atlantis) and Angel Boris (SCI FI Pictures' Dragon Storm and Epoch: Evolution) star. WORLD PREMIERE: Saturday, May 22, at 9PM ET/PT ( I am so there ) Anyway, so I was really confused, because why would the snake fight for hapless humans? Food? I don�t know. And like�does the winner get to kill people? Is there a good snake and a bad Snake? If the Good Snake wins, does it just decided to stop fighting and eating hapless humans? Which Snake am I cheering for? All these questions were answered by going here where I learned that the snakes weren�t fighting for humans, but for humanity. See these snakes have difference ideological views on society and only one can implement their strategy of global reconstruction. At least the �cute as hell� playmate is front and center in the photo. Speaking of �cute as hell playmates� Irish Blue Eyes did a really funny Hot or Not entry today that you should check out. But before you leave remember, next Saturday watch For the FATE of all humanity!!!!!!! (these are actual shots from the film) BIG SNAKES ; BIG STAKES | |||||||||||
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