2004-01-09 - 1:14 p.m. See the bad, Read the Good Hi there guys. This entry was originally going to be one thing, and then I changed it because the first one sucked. Remember hands across America? Probably not, but it�s one of (in my opinion) the lowest points in humanity as we know it. Here was my entry: Hey diarylanders! Remember that 80�s event known as HANDS ACROSS AMERICA!?! The idea was to join hands from coast to coast, as if this was suppose to accomplish something. It didn�t. So I was thinking of, nearly 20 years later, of a variation. !!Hands across Gump!! The idea is everyone could get together around me, and I could lie �stiff as a board� and you all could puts hands around me and on me. But not in my bathing suit areas, because I really am not looking for either a Lawsuit or a hard-on. Yeah, I could get pizza, and then beer for the legals (or close enoughs), and we could all sleep over, and people could do my hair, and we could have a pillow fight and watch Adventures in Babysitting! As much as I want to be know as the diaryland man-whore, I realized a few things while writing this. First, I hated hands across America. Second, this seemed like some sort of freaky cultish thing, and finally �I�m going to go with the following rule�Anyone who would show up, I wouldn�t want to show up, and might actually try for the trunks.-- But I flatter myself, so I figured I post it so you would have some clue as to what I delete. Troy McLoure: If this is what he deletes, the stuff he keeps must be GOLD! Sorry Troy� ********* We have had 8 cars parked in the driveway of my house, not including the landlords. 8 cars! We live in the city. Here is the reason. 4 of the cars that were there are no longer able to be used. 2 were rental return, 1 was totaled, and the other was rescinded by the parents. We have had a Ford Explorer, A Rental Van, A 93 Teal Civic, a Silver Civic, a Eclipse, a Saaturn Ion, a crappy tan Chevy rental, and a Volvo. Since the 3 months we have lived there the roommates have been involved in the following incidents: Someone rolled their car into a ditch Someone ran head on into a wall Someone backed into a telephone pole Someone�s car died in the middle of traffic and had to be pushed 4 blocks and then towed Someone�s car was recalled Someone hit a snow bank after falling asleep at the wheel Someone�s tire blew Someone�s truck release device broke Someone lost the lug nuts to his wheel in the driveway One more tire problem Two circuit blowing And a partridge in a pear tree. And the fact of the matter is Anniewaits is the only one not yet to have a car incident, and what I don�t think she understands that in San Diego, cars run great. In 2 degrees of icy, sandy, pot hole plagued roads, lets just say, things don�t go so smoothly. As for the recall, that was me! I got noticed that they have to take a look at the oil filter, because something might be �explosive� Gump: Explosive? Like fart explosive, or like grenade explosive? Technician: It�s just a minor problems in a few models. Gump: Any one of these few models in mine though? Technician: Well yes, but it�s a minor problem. Just a few seconds will determine if the problem exists Gump And until then what? Am I driving a timebomb? Will it just blow the hood off, or like will the car die, or will I be cooked? What�s the worst case? Technician: We don�t know the worst case sir, nothings happened yet. Just a new part that need to be added. Gump: Well I�ll come in right away. Technician: Well, were full for the next two weeks. Gump Great! That tickles my gizzard. I guess I should have just bought the pinto! | |||||||||||
