2005-09-21 - 4:32 p.m. Girls/Guys: Why Blind Dates are Harder for Guys, then they are for Girls. The Blind Date One thing that I think people universally love and despise is generalities about women and men. Generality: When asked the question �how many women could I beat up in a fight� my answer is �all of them.� My theory has always been that I could kill at least one of them if I attacked first, and then seeing that would cause all the others to run away. It�s not a good theory, but just in case you girls get any ideas�. Back to my point. When two people go on a blind date, there is typically a lot of nervousness, a lot of sweet lord don�t let this be awful, and perhaps some puking. But there is a distinct difference between the girls side of blind dates, and the guys side of blind dates. Girls have the power. Don�t believe me? Well from the girls and guys I have talked to, this is the subtle difference I get. Girls tend to say, �I hope this guy is going to be BLANK -- Blank = �hot, interesting, funny, not a jerk � etc.� Guys tend to say, �I hope she doesn�t think I�m a loser.� They also say �I hope she�s hot!� What is the difference? Typically, on Blind Dates, it�s up to the guy to impress the girl. Now, the exception to this is like the MTV show next where producers found that guys will instantly next a girl because they don�t like the way she looks. But that�s instantaneous. It takes a guy about 3 seconds to make the decision on whether or not he is going to sleep with you. There is very little you can do to change that. Either you are his type, or not. Sidenote: Here is something I have learned about �types.� 90% of women are guys �types.� Its not like we have these ridiculously high standards where a guy wouldn�t sleep with you. Sometimes certain guys have above normal standards, which is either caused by 1) vanity or 2) insecurity, and sometimes some guys have lower standards due to either 1) Enraged Libido or 2) A raging Hard on. But once that is over, its up to the guy to impress the girl. Typically, it�s the guy who picks the date activity. It�s the guy who has to get the girl to like his personality. It�s the guy who has to read her signals. Guys usually put it out there. If they want sex, or are into you, you can typically tell. But in that, the guy has to properly present his desire. Being attracted to a girl is good for most girls� but what does that mean? For some, they want to be flattered and the center of attention. Not many like a B-line to their chest or a grab of their ass. Sidenote : To stalkers and guys who grab girls asses. What is the end game? Unless you want to make a girl feel like a sex object, or are trying to kill her, these are NOT the correct methods to sexual seduction. Please. No girl has ever been like �and then he grabbed my ass, and I totally was into him� or �I saw him outside my house at 4:00AM and invited him up for �coffee.� Just stop. Girls like romance. And for many men, romance is like dancing�they can�t do it. The key with romance is two fold, simplicity and sincerity. Things must remain simplistic because that�s what life is. Its not elaborate, it�s the little ways you touch someone, look at someone, and talk to someone. If you hold a stereo outside a girls room playing in your eyes, and she doesn�t like who you are, its police time. Romance can become elaborate after the simple things are perfected. And they must be sincere. If you try to fool a girl with lines, and moves, and bad jokes, she will see through it. Tell her that you are nervous about talking to her, and that might win you more points than the most well practiced joke. The girl WILL be judging nearly everything you do. If you go to the bathroom four times in an hour, that�s bad. If you play with your food, that�s bad. (often times when I am done with my food, I cover it with my napkin, as if it were dead, and I was the mortician. I often wonder what the dishwasher thinks when he receives my dead meal. Incidentally, this isn�t something women will remember positively. ) Don�t be uber cocky, or ultra meek. Women don�t like sissy�s or cock-bags. They like a little of both. Here is a credo. Assertive to the world, Sensitive to Her. Be strong you pussy! As far as location. Be smart. This is where you can get elaborate. Get her on her heels. If you are picking the place, get somewhere outside her neighborhood. Somewhere she�s not familiar with but you are. This will give you a slight edge. Also, avoid the following: Saturday Night Hot Spots: Why bring a girl to a loud bar? Normally the killer line with a girl you MEET at a loud bar is �Do you wanna get out of here?� because she does. Don�t bring her there to start the night. Dance Clubs: Even if you are a good dancer, this isn�t the best place to go on a blind date. Too much touching without enough drinking. Movies: You run the risk of the following � Bringing her to a movie she won�t like. Not talking to her. The dreaded arm rest fight (which can also be fun flirting for the right couple). Quoting Lines from the movie if you already saw it. Popcorn hands � the list goes on and on. Movies can be a good date, but not a good starting blind date. Coffee: I know its crazy, but some people don�t drink coffee. Also, another crazy thing, some people don�t like Starbucks. Finally, I don�t know about you all, but when I get caffeine in my system, I go from Low Key Gump, to Shaking Man Possessed Gump. I might end up biting my date, trying to metaphorically explain that she looked �tasty.� Work Lunches: You are at work. She is at work. This can only end badly. Plus you want the option to extend the date. When you have to go back to work� that�s not an extension. Expensive Restaurants: What if she�s a psycho hag? You just dropped 120 bucks. What if she expects this every time? Hello Let down. Plus, unless you are Fancy McPrince you are giving off false images. See Sincerity. Cheap Restaurants: Forget Sincerity, you might wanna get laid! This is not the first step in getting laid. Yes, you are hedging Fido the Dog Girl�s eating habits, but please people, I assume the point of the blind date is to get to know someone. SOLUTION : Brunch. It�s Brilliant. You can drink at brunch. You can easily extend the date. You know the price going in, and plus she chooses the food she wants. It�s not a pretentious night out. It�s face to face. It�s during the day so she won�t be thinking �he just wants to get laid� (girls don�t start thinking this until the sun goes down. I was a girl once you know). Plus, there are a trillion things you can do after brunch and she won�t feel like she�s burning a weekend night on a blind date. All positive things in your book man. And there you have it! Sunday is the day for the blind date. If she�s horrible, boom, out of there right after brunch. Maybe at brunch she eats like she�s having a baby (yes girls we watch things too). Maybe she sees two ex boyfriends? All good signs to run away! And if she�s a keeper, take a walk, talk, get coffee, go to a bookstore, get some ice cream, show her the mirror on your bedroom ceiling. You know, whatever dating people do. | |||||||||||
