2003-05-23 - 12:28 p.m. Awakening 4 Co-payment 11/24/97 Hello Gump, Hello Dr. Gil, Dr. Gil is my pediatrician. He has been for sometime. I am 18 now. I really don�t want to switch doctors, but I realize I have to when its me and little kids in the waiting room. We used to play Street Fighter while we waited. I would kick the little kids ass. I could ever do it with the Russian or the Indian guy. And they both suck!!! �So Gump, what are we in for today?� �Oh, just a physical. Nothing else.� �Well alright. We are gonna need to take blood today. You going to be okay with that?� �Uh� yeah� Note::: If you ever want to know how to capture a wild Gump, this is it. Needles. Holy Shit I can�t handle these things. It�s like a deer in the headlights. Except the deer is superman, and the car is kryptonite. Or rather, the deer is a Vampire Superman and the car is a Mac truck with a cross on the front, made from kryptonite. Okay the point is I grow weak in the sight of needles. It�s stupid. I say �Sure, Doctor. I understand.� �I got a couple of questions for you first. Have you smoked in the last year?� I thought - smoked what? � �No� � I giggled �Have you been sick?� he asked me �No� I replied quickly �Had any breathing problems or loss of sight?� �No� �Have you had any alcoholic beverages?� �Uh�yeah. Yes I have,� He nodded his head to the side, taken back for a second. He was surprised!!! He knows that I didn�t have anything to drink before I graduated high school. I suddenly felt lame. Wow, that�s the first time I have felt shame in front of my doctor. And I was such a nice kid. �How many do you have.� Oh no. He�s gonna discover my affection for binge drinking�.quick lie. �One.� �One what?� Shit. Shit. What was I thinking. �One week. One week since I had one. One Drink. A week ago I had one drink.� Oh God. I am going to be the first kid to fail his physical. �Well. How often do you drink? Regularly?� �No. No. I�m sorry. I was confused.� No I wasn�t, �I thought you meant last TIME I had a drink� �Oh. No. How often.� �Once or twice a month,� (day) �And how much do you consume?� �About one or two beers a sitting.� (per hand) �How long is a sitting?� �A night.� (a hour) �Alright, keep it to a minimum� �Ok Doc.� �Have you had sex?� �No.� NO WAIT. YOU HAVE HAD SEX. You had sex last night. You aren�t a virgin loser anymore Gump. �No wait Doc, I HAVE had sex.� I said this with too much pride. In fact, I was absolutely glowing. He is the first person that I have told that I am having sex. I didn�t tell any of my friends at home, and all her friends knew. Her roommate definitely knew. (she didn�t have to be told). I really was excited. I felt that I had changed somehow. I wanted to explode I was so happy that I said it. It kinda felt like the first time I had sex. I wanted to discuss with this man, my sexual revolution. I wanted him to pat me on the back and say �I knew you had it in you.� And �I never thought you were weird looking.� Or �Little slow out the gate, but quick down the stretch, that�s my boy!!� But then I realized that it kinda was like the first time I had sex. I was in my boxers, with my shirt of, sitting on this bed thing, that�s pretty cold. I am nervous, sweating, and my nipples are kinda hard. At least I didn�t have a boner. I think that�s cause I was sitting across from a 50 year balding man that looked like George Costanza. And then to completely ruin it he said: �Did ya wear a condom?� �Yes�� �How many?� �Uh�.Just one. Am I suppose to use more?� �No, sorry how many partners?� �Just one�.sorry�� �And it was with a female correct?� �Yeah�yes�� oh god. How embarrassing is all this?!!? The awkwardness continues. I just kinda stare at him, and I think he was looking at me with some sort of envy. Or maybe he was just trying to see if I had a boner. I wanted to leave. This is the second time I have felt shameful in front of my doctor. �Alright, now about the blood. Lie on your back. You want to relax and breathe. I�ll put it in slowly. Try to concentrate on something else. It won�t take long, I just gotta get a few drops.� Yup, this is just like the first time I had sex | |||||||||||
