2003-07-18 - 11:52 a.m. Pan Seared Trout Well diaryland, I read several diary�s a day and four diary that I read today had the Rueters article about �How Masturbating is good for you.� Now silly diaryland, how can I take you seriously when I find out that the wonderful process of excreting man-goo is good for me. Well I already new that it was good for me but I didn�t know it helped me too. Man, I am going to go take care of that right now. Just kidding. We had a friend, Trout. He still is our friend, just never calls me. (I think I scare him.) He is a chef. He beat off in a school bathroom. Which, listen, I have been there. I was a crazy hormonal boy who was wild with crazy testosterone. I wanted to. I was in the bathroom and I thought� �I could just go into that stall, and crank my yanker.� But I came to my senses and I never did. However Trout, once�just one time. Yeah. I can see that. We tease him about it, but he denies flogging it like you would deny herpes to Britney Spears. That too I can understand. You don�t want to be known as; The Bathroom Beater. Toilet Tugger, Can Cummer, Stall Soiler, or The Crapper Whacker. But its been along time, and he denies it with a jackal smile. The more he denies it; the more I am sure he did it. The thirty seconds after purchasing the bread, must have been pure panic. �Did some one hear that?� �Why did I do that?� �Is someone in here?� �How can I get out?� Followed by the shame. �Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhy?� as he ties old Limpy up to the post; tucks the kids back to bed. Then the anger. �Stupid Liz and he skirts. Dammit. Why me. Why did she do that to me?� Followed by denial. �It never happened.� Well that pretty much leaves the acceptance. So Trout, if you are reading, we know you did it. Its okay buddie. We still love you. And you still love yourself. ~Gump | |||||||||||
