2003-06-23 - 1:13 p.m. Old Yeller I have spent the majority of my morning typing to fill out this Blue form for my travel expenses. As you can imagine from the typos in my diary entries, �form filing� is not my forte. In fact, I am really bad at it. I have filled out five forms total with errors. One form with errors, but its at least clear enough to be submitted. I was like a goddamn monkey banging on a keyboard today; trying to get the perfect expense form. Well I don�t have much �funny� in me today (or ever some would argue) and I don�t want to turn this diary into a online Old Yeller, but I figure that I should update so you know what�s going on. My mom called me when I got into work this morning to let me know that I was going to have to make a decision. Elliot is too sick to go on. He has pressure on his spine that will not go away, and he will never be able to use his right front paw again. The decision wasn�t whether or not to let him live or whether to put him down, because he is in too rough of a shape to let him continue. He can�t walk. He probably wouldn�t eat. This is no way for a creature to live. The choice was whether we should wait until I got home from work, or whether my parents should put him down this afternoon. I didn�t want him to suffer, and I would want him to �move on� as quickly and humanely as possible. But I wanted to see him again. Before it ended. I thought of that dog I wrote of before. The one who�s master died, and the dog never left the spot for years. The dog who missed his master so much he waited and waited until he hoped that his master would return. I imagine that I owe Elliot as much. He is probably very confused and very scared right now in the Vets. He is so afraid, and all I want is for him to be happy. I think that seeing me, and my family would give him at least one last moment of happiness. That�s why I am going. But I know that I am going to loose it. I know I will loose it when I see that he can�t wag his tail. | |||||||||||
